Friday, August 28, 2009

Popping my blog virginity

Yay, it has finally happened. I'm no longer a blogging virgin. I'm popping my own cherry. OH GREAT...has it come to that?!?!?!

So...How Y'all doin?

A little about me... I grew up in the deep south and 40 years later I'm still here. I'm a single gay male. I have one child...a cute Dachshund named Scooby. I've had him since he was born. My ex roommate had his mother and father. While we were living together they had puppies and she offered me one. I had no intentions of getting a dog at the time but couldn't resist that face(I'm posting a pic of him...tell me you could resist that...I think not!) He just turned 12 this past May.

I grew up in the "Bible Belt" and was reared in church hearing constant sermons about sins and immorality so I have struggled with my sexuality and my openness about it. Last year I decided I have lived long enough in the closet and would no longer deny my sexuality. Since then I have been open with new people that come into my life. However, I haven't come out to all of my friends and family yet.

I have told two of my sisters and my dad. They were VERY accepting. I haven't quite gotten up the nerve yet to tell my mom. That will come...soon(stay tuned)! I don't think my mom will disown me...but I know this will hurt her. She will be consumed with the fact her son is going to hell for this sin. Is it a sin? That's a big question, isn't it! I've had to deal with that question my whole life and if I'm honest...I still ask myself that a lot. I used to think this was my sin to someone dealing with alcoholism or whatever. I no longer think that.

I truly believe I was born this way. Looking back I was always gay. I just didn't know what gay was. When I found out what gay was it was usually followed by the words "hellfire" and "damnation". That would scare any kid and would eventually lead me to live a so-called str8 lifestyle for a LONG time. That was until I was almost 30 and finally decided I had to give in to the temptation and actually experiment with guys. It didn't take long before I knew that I liked

I decided then that I would live a secret life. I would have sex with guys and just have "fuck buddies" but wouldn't let anyone in on my secret. That fulfilled the need temporarily. I realized last year that I still wasn't happy. I wasn't me...I want love! I want that great relationship where I'm open and honest with a partner...someone who will love me for me.
I know it's out there and I will find it. How's that for optimism?!?!?!
OK, so I guess that's enough for now...more later!

Bob Out(notice the pun...haha)


RAD said...

What a great POST--- Your a good Egg MR....If you ever need someone to chat with you know where to find me....

Mark in DE said...

YES! You WERE always gay, whether you knew what it was or not. I can sympathize with you in growing up in a conservative religious family. I did too, and it caused me to wait until I was 30 to come out. To read my coming out posts go here:

I look forward to getting to know you more here!